THE GRACEFUL ART OF LISTENING
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BY AKUR SRINIVASAN
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When we say ‘thanks for listening’ to a person it is taken as a great compliment. By listening with interest, we can refresh people who are distressed or crushed downwith problems. Being a good listener helps people to enjoy the company of people and friends. Many people are poor listeners. They would rather like to offer their unwanted advice or relate their own experiences, when a friend or a person starts discussing his/her problem.. Some are eager to present their point of view instead of listening fully to otherperson’s. views. Such annoying behavior will keep his or her friends at a distance.
We must learn to listen with love and respect. It is an art that can be cultivated withpatience and discipline. It is a skill worth acquiring and retained . Really listening withcare ,love and interest when others speak ,is an expression of dignity, decency and .contributes to better understanding and happiness. Graceful listening implies that we can putour own interest aside, silencing cell phone, shutting of the TV set, glancing news paper ormagazine or scratching or yawning. One must take intense interest in the thought of other personwho is talking on a serious issueListening with love and grace also requires that we refrain from taking about ourselves or give our views and our experiences on the issue to be discussed. When some one starts a discussion on an important issue, we must listen care fully , understand the problem and then offer views at the end or when asked . We must avoid saying something like this in the midst of serious discussion—‘ that reminds me what had happened to me sometime ago’ and some such things ’Listening with grace is indeed a challenging task.. Can we listen without agreeing to what is beingsaid? Can we say to some one, that we appreciate what is being said and understand how he or she feels although we may not agree.? Yes , in certain situations like the once given below, we can patiently listen, although we may not agree, explain calmly our views on the problem, analyzing the pros and cons of the issue, in the best interest of the individuals concerned to solve the problem. When problems like a young boy in the family gets into the habit of drugs or a teen aged girl at high school tells her parents that she wants to go for a date with her class mate-the boy friend she knows- instead of getting excited and furious, it would be better to carefully listen to the problem s of youngsters and explain what is proper and improper and guide them in their best interest and bring them round ,impressing upon them their future and duties and responsibilities to the family , the institution where and they study and the society. When people disagree heated argument follows with emotion. .This results in repeating what they have said again and again. Each one feels the other person is not listening to his side. How nice it would be, if both of them agree to listen calmly to each other and solve the problem with self-control and discretion. Following the old saying ‘ the one keeping his lips in check is acting discreetly’. Listening with love means, paying special attention not only to the words but also to the emotion suitably expressed..So let us all practice the graceful artof listening. for better understanding and enjoyment of life.
(Writer is a former professor of Loyalla College of Chennai,Tamilnadu State, India)
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