The Pain Of The Second Number
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By Rajani Puranik
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I was in Mumbai in the month of June, which is the month of results. Every day’s papers used to give some or the other results on the front page with the photographs of the successful students. The results for public exams like SSC and HSC are considered more important as the no. Of students appearing for it is more than any other exam. The whole month after the result has different atmosphere. The merit list, the honors, the prizes to the students and their interviews is lot of material to read and enjoy. I like to see the photographs of the successful children and to read their experiences that how did they prepare for the exam, who helped them or inspired them for the success.

I always used to see the difference of marks between the first rank and the second rank student. It is always the difference of one or two marks. This difference of one or two marks turns all the efforts, pains and preparation of the student into second rank. Actually the first ranker and second ranker proved them selves as equally brilliant except for one or two marks or some times whims of the examiner they got but it changes the whole pattern. My heart goes for the second no. I can understand the pains of the second number. The agony of second number always remains with him forever. He has to accept it as fate, luck or what ever.

The pain of the second number is not limited to exams only but has its effect in many areas of our life. The first child of the married couple is always welcomed irrespective of the sex but generally the second one is wanted as son if the first one is daughter. The attention and the admiration the first one gets is always more than the second.

In the Monarchical system the heir to the throne is always the first child and not the second. I shall not here enter into boy or girl debate. Even in the life of common men the first one automatically becomes family head if it is joint family. I do remember here the incidence from Mahabharata. Doupradi was the wife of five Pandavas and accordingly her stay with each one was decided and determined. We also know that once Arjun wanted his weapons or arms to fight with demons he went to Droupadis room as it was his turn to be with her and saw Dharmaraj the eldest or the first son with her and according to the agreement Arjun had to go on pilgrimage. The extra right Dharmaraja used was due the first number. Even once Droupadi told Bhima that he should be the first Pandava in the next life.
It is said about Napoleon Bonaparte that he used to be ready on the battlefield before his enemy would attack. But in the battle between him and combined Allied army of British, Dutch, Belgium and Prussian led by Duke of Wellington at Waterloo he was late due to heavy rain and the delay or missing the first no cost him the defeat. What I want to say in this case that first has always seat and success in life. It does not mean that the second is unsuccessful but the first gets the place automatically by the virtue of the rank.

Think of the Apollo 11 Mission. It was the first manned mission to land on the Moon. This mission carried three American astronauts to the Moon in 1969. Neil Armstrong was the first to step out of the landing module and on to the lunar soil. Armstrong said,”that is one small step for man , one giant leap for mankind”. Such a great event is remembered along with the name of Armstrong. The other names are recorded and honored they got all the name and fame but Neil was first to step out. All the three were equally trained and fit for the mission but the importance and credit goes to the first name.

We have the experience of this fact in all walk of our life. The second no. has to compromise a bit for no exact reason but for number. We remember every first event of our life or our child’s life but the second can be forgotten or allowed to forget.
Till last Sunday we all have enjoyed Australian Open and before we enjoyed US Open Tennis Matches. .Defeating many players Roger Federer and Andy Roddics reached to the Final in US Open it means both of them were equally competent to reach to the final . The swing , who would be the Number One was developed in the second set but ultimately Federer won the Trophy , the prize and the Champion ship of US Open .Roddics said in his statement that there is still scope for him to improve his game but if the result would have been otherwise then he would have been perfect. Same thing has happened in Australian Open.Federer and Gonzales reached the Final keeping the viewers guessing but after the first set Federer again got the first place. We must accept the skill ,the practice, and the determination plus hard work of the first number but there is unseen part of the luck which takes you to the second number. There fore I have sympathy for the second number.
(writer is having very good skill in writing with deep study of the subject.)
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OUR TRIP TO ENCHANTING EUROPE
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By Mrs Pramila Desai
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We were so very excited to meet at the San Francisco Airport on the morning of 28th May. Ours was a group of people from different background. We arrived at the Heathrow Airport London. After the necessary customs and Immigration checks we arrived at The Novotel Hotel, In the afternoon we were ready to go out to see the famous city of London. We were dropped in front of the Buckingham Palace. We saw the statue of The Queen Victoria and other statues. Then we drove past the Westminster Abbey, The Kensington Palace, The Windsor Castle, The Big-Ben,10 Downing Street, The Trafalgar Square, Piccadily Square, St.Pauls
Cathedral, The Tower of London, The tower Bridge. In the evening we visited the Swaminarayan Mandir.and had prasad. We stayed at the hotel for the night.

The next morning we were ready to join the trip to go on the coach from London to The Doverport. From there we went to board the ferry for short channel crossing to Calais.Our bus alighted the ferry which carries all the buses and cars to Calais. .We had to pass through tunnels to Belgium and Antwerp. The meaning of Antwerp which is Fleming is that werp means weapon and giant who lived there was killed by a little boy meaning ant. He cut his hands and feet and threw it in Antwerp. On the way we saw the countryside of Rotterdam and Amsterdam. Rotterdam is the biggest Port city in the world. It is full of canals. It’s a low- lying area close to the North Sea. The people built dykes which does not allow the sea-water to go inland. It is famous for different kinds of cheeses and clog factory. The land is agricultural and very fertile because it is reclaimed from the sea. Many kinds of flowers are grown specially many coloured tulips are grown It is called the garden city of Europe because flowers are transported everywhere in Europe. Clogs are wooden shoes made from the Poplar wood and are used in agricultural fields. Fancy articles like mugs and plates coloured with painted flowers are made. The people are very tall about 6-7feet and the women are 5 and ½ feet tall. Amsterdam is so called because it is built on the river Amster. Maduradam and Amsterdam are the two capitals of the Netherlands. Most of the people live in house –boats on the river. Most of the land becomes dry , there are windows constructed to draw water from the ground to keep the land fertile. The windows are big and narrow buildings with very high glass windows with pipes to draw water. In the Netherlands prostitution is supposed to be legal. The prostitutes are treated medically to follow the profession. The mode of transportation is bi-cycle. Anybody can use the left over cycle in any place any time. Amsterdam is supposed to be one of the best harbour in the world. The Notredam is the second best. The cruises do trading of industrial goods.. They are also used for receptions and other uses. The sea is held back by locks. The rich Jewish people usually are staying by the side of the river. They built big houses to live and did trade and business. In the 17th century many patrician houses were built.near the canal. .They were occupied by the industrial companies and official residences The canals were used for defence purposes Big concrete poles were used to hold the buildings. In the olden days they were made of wood. These concrete poles held the buildings. Because there the ground is marshy . There are many bridges built on the river Amster There are. Canals built to name a few The seven Arches Bridge., Pringergracht or The Prince Canal.,Merragracht-Gentleman Canal, Kaisergracht Empress Canal.There is a big Ring Road called The Gordel People used to pay taxes to the chief. There are many castles on the side of the river. Beer is the common drink. Many breweries grew along the side of the river. We saw the Maduradam model village which is miniature Holland It is called Kenkenhof Gardens. It is full of miniature important buildings.with electric lights. Cars and trains were running with electricity. Small people were also walking on the roads. That was a very good eye view of the city of Holland.

After passing the International Court at The Hague we reached Germany through The Rhine valley. On the side of the river Rhine there are three types of vineyards –sweet ,dry and sour vines. This river flows from Netherlands to Switzerland.It flows into the North Sea. River Rhine is the third longest river in the Europe. In Holland the ground was lower than the sea . As we traveled the ground became higher than the sea. In Germany we saw the marvelous and Europe’s oldest and largest Gothic Cathedral of Cologne.with twin spires. It has many huge pillars carved with statues.

Saw the Cuckoo clock factory. This factory is situated in palatial wooden house where Maria Antoinette used to stay., Crystal and decorated carved wooden are sold.. There is a big painted picture of the princess. We had to cross the border Zolo Schlosthiro from Germany to Switzerland . We had to check the pass-ports because Switzerland does not belong to the European union It got its independence later. We went through the black forest region to Schaffhansan to see the Rhein Falls. Which is the third largest falls in Europe .It is 16000 years old and it falls from 25 meter high Passed through Manheim to the Frank furt area. On the way to Frankfurt we went through the longest tunnel. Four languages French ,Italian , German, and Romansh. are spoken in that place. Wine is popular We stayed at the Hotel Sommeran Ticino Dietikon in Zurich. On the way we saw Interlaken where Bollywood pictures are shot =Dilwale Dulinia Lejayenge.=was shot and even Telugu and Tamil pictures are shot. On the way back we saw the capital of Switzerland Berne. We saw the Myster Park which was made by a man who earned a lot of money by selling books which he wrote about different gods and their stories. He wrote about the Pyramids why they were built He wrote about the mystery of the world. He built a temple with the Indian Flag. There he built many different a big building with different shapes.It was interesting because there we saw the Indian Flag. Saw another lake named Brienze , the name was given because of the city. The lake is formed by the water flowing from the glaciers from the mountains

After a short drive from there we went to Lauterbrannen where we boarded the train for the scenic journey to the JUNGFRAUJOCH---Top of Europe, the highest railway station in Europe .We waited for the train and saw a park from where we had a view of the Alps covered with snow. Saw the ICE PALACE with the sculptures of animals and the panoramic view of the Alps from The Sphinx Terrace. Driving through the Swiss Alpine region and winding mountain roads we reached the valley of Engleberg We started our ascent to board the world’s first revolving cable car reaching the peak of 10,000 ft. We passed through the longest tunnel of the mountain Alberta which is the highest peak and saw the central Switzerland. There we could see the Glacier Grotto and enjoyed the panoramic view from the sun terrace. Passing through the glacier thawing the ice which created majestic water falls we visited the town of Lucerne. .We passed through the forest area where there were no wild animals like India.The river Sihl flows through the forest. Again we had to pass through a big tunnel. We saw the Lake Zug. Lake Lucern is formed by the River Rues. I am mentioning the rivers and the lakes because the sceneriary around them is very beautiful to be enjoyed. There is a Chapel Bridge which connects the old town of Lucern with the new.There is a small principality of Liechtenstein[pronounced as sheen}. It is surrounded by mountains and greenery all round this small town. The mountain is called the Mount Phalatas and the Lake is named as the Fearwoldstalesnord. It is ruled by a Prince who lives in a beautiful castle on the top of the mountain. It is a Mona Carlos Monarchy, protected by the Swiss Government. It is a small town of 7 million consisting of Germans and the Flemish. We visited the capital city of Vaduz and enjoyed the countryside scenery of theTyrolean Capital. . We reached Innbruck. meaning bridge on the river Inn. through a big tunnel,which is 14km. long, named Alberga tunnel There are names given to the tunnels,for example., Flirsher Tunnel, Ropper Tunnel Etc. In Innsbruck we saw green domes and red roofs of the houses.specially in the area. We visited the Swarovski crystal world’s shop displaying unique selection of products made from different coloured glass . A big giant guards the crystal works of the Swarovski through whose mouth water falls ,which is a good sight for the travelers. The entrance is called the Enignon or the Krystallwatten Swarovski .This crystal is kept in wooden palace where Marie Antoinette stayed in the summer. She was the youngest daughter of nine children of The Emperor Max Mueller. She went to France and married Louis XVI , the King of France. He started the sewage system in those days. In the Innsbruck we saw the golden roof in the main square of the area. Then we reached the area of Austria., where the Hapsburgs ruled. One of the Hapsburgs was Hitler. He followed the Nationalist Socialist Policy. The people followed him though his mother was a Jewish and he prosecuted Jews . We passed the Tyrolean Mountains. They were very scenic and very famous for skiing. In German Tyrol means a mountain.. We passed the spectacular scenery of the Europabrucke which is one of the highest bridges of Europe. Winding our way through the Branner Pass we crossed to the Italian border to Venice, the city of unparalleled beauty and romantic Gondolas. We started the boat –ride to Venice, the Queen of the seas . It is made of Islands which are connected by canals and nearly 400 bridges. We went to the St. Mark’s Square passing through the Bridge of Sighs , The Doges Palace to the Basilica Di San Mario and saw The St. Mark’s Cathedral The Bell Towers. Basilica Sponte De La Liberty. Which was built by Mussolini. In the Square was the statue of Victor Emmanuel II. Who was the king of Italy. There were many marble statues in the square. There was the statue of David and Dante.

We had to pass through many tunnels while going to Florence. It is called Firenze.in Italian Florentia means to flourish. Florence was the cradle of Civilization. It was The Medieval Period of the 12 th Century and was known as The Rennaisance The way of thinking was changed. . Everybody started taking medicines and surgery was made popular in those days. Painting was made popular. The famous painter Leonardo De Vince flourished in those days. Many of the colored paintings of that age are in good condition and marvelous still to watch and enjoy.. for example Mona Lisa and Michael Angelo’s paintings. The original tribes of Florence were the Etruscans. They improved their territory by looting and plundering. They started building new industries. The famous sports car Ferrari was built at time Markets and trade flourished . Beautiful temples of that are in good condition Victor Emmanuels Palace was built about 450 years ago. We stayed at the Minerva Restorante in Arezzo in Florence.

Next we went to Rome .They say Rome was not built in a day All roads lead to Rome.. We saw the Rome of the people, The Colloseum , where the gladiators used to fight with each other and wild animals. In 1760 Rome was founded by Romulus and Remus. They were sons of a virgin, Sylvia. Her brother took the sons and left on the River Tiber. The children were raised by sucking the milk of a she-wolf. Rome was ruled by the Caesars. The Roman Empire started to grow. The concept of the Ring Road was started. Canals and Aquaducts were constructed. They started building houses with cement and concrete and bricks.The Roman Empire was divided Constantine founded Constantinopole and Istanbul The Roman Empire was taken over by St. Peter. He founded the Roman Catholic Church and worshipped one god. Roman Temples were built and Churches were founded.. Latin was the main Language. On the outer region The Bolognia University was built University of Padua and Emalia Romania were started. The River Adige flows through the city of Bolognia and Tuscany. The Pope is the spiritual. Leader.of the churches. He lived in the Vatican City. Sistine Chapel is the main chapel in The Vatican City. The Holy Door is opened by the Pope when he comes out to meet the people.The Notredam Temple was built in 1163 AD and dedicated to The Our Lady...Marseilles is measured from the zero point front of the cathedral. We went to see the Trevy Fountain.which is in the center of the road. If you have a wish and throw a coin in it the wish is fulfilled. Then we went to see The Leaning Tower of Pisa which is one of the wonders of the world.. The ground in the Square of Miracles is very soft because of the mud. There is a church of Baptism and other churches. It is said that the mud was brought from Jerusalem. In the beginning the first two stories were built, but they started to lean on one side. So after some days a metal wall was built around the lower floors. After a few days the upper floors were built. Then we passed the Piedmont region of Italy where we admired the grand scenery and old houses perched high on the hills. Passing through beautiful country side and tunnels we reached the beautiful lake with its famous Jet deau Fountain jutting very high into the sky. It was a marvelous sight.. There was the Garden known as The English Garden., where there was The Floral Clock. It was very attractive with different seasonal flowers with different colours. Next we visited The United Nations Buildings and saw many International Buildings for example The WHO The Trade Union The Human Rights Organisation . Saw the Red Cross Organisation. which was known as The Red Crescent Organisation. which was established in 1863. We had to cross a tunnel under the Mount Blanc.which is 83 km. long We saw the statue of King Nero who was playing the violin when Rome was burning. Then we saw the Eiffel Tower which is famous as the wonder of the world. It is an industrial masterpiece. We climbed the Tower in an elevator which can accommodate 50 people at a time While in the elevater we had panoramic view of the city. Later we enjoyed the cruise which traverses past many arches and bridges on the River Seine. We saw the Arc De Triumph in the city Notre Dame and LOUVRE Museum.which is the longest and biggest Museum in the world. It has a number of big paintings of world famous artists. We saw the Opera House Champs Elysees and Concord Square where roads from all sides of the city meet. Next we saw The French Perfumery for some shopping. Finally we went to see Paris by Night. Paris is lighted the whole night and the most spectancular sight was the lighted Eiffel Tower. What a magnificent sight it was! We started the return journey to Calais. We boarded the local carrier to the Dover Port from Calais in a ferry. This ferry carries buses and cars on the English Channel. We returned to London. We checked in the hotel for the night and the next morning we went to the Heathrow Airport to return to San Francisco.
(Writer has very well described her European trip with all the details.)
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Articles
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By Balwant Puranik
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1)Retirement
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Had I titled this article as old age instead of retirement, some of the
seniors here would have been angry with me. Some one would say “I am
just 75 years young”. Further at the very outset I would clarify that the
focus of this article and one or two to follow is not to advise the young
retirees here, but to throw some ideas for further discussion.
The retirement age can be viewed as golden age. There are no worries of
various types confronting us earlier. In the student days, we had to strive to keep grades. As adults we had to earn our livelihood. In the process, some of us in service, pleased bosses and either stayed clear of office politics or play politics with an eye on promotion. Those in profession or business had to keep worrying to earn sufficient to maintain family befitting our status. This is not the case in retirement. Therefore retired life can be made moreenjoyable. But for this we will have to focus our attention on things like health, relations with family members, relations with friends and the people we come in contact. Last but not the least there is time to pause and think of spiritual life.
Since more time is available, there is need to plan to keep yourself busy. Get involved in new activities. If you have certain interests that you could not pursue when young, this is the time. Try to learn new things. This will keep you busy, physically and mentally. Remember shy people sometimes get isolated. Therefore mix with people. You are still useful and have worth. Therefore don’t have sense of insecurity grapple you. Stimulate your brains.Write and read in Creative writig class. Those who use internet surf web site http//www.enchantedmind.com.
HEALTH:-
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Last year we were fortunate to hear Mrs. Desai’s talks on diet. I still recollect balanced diet. Those interested to read more on internet go to website:www.2shapeup.org/cyberkitchen.Maintain right weight. Control your blood pressure and cholesterol level. Prevent what they call brittle bones, undergo periodical medical test. Don’t smoke. Manage stress. Is it a long list? Did you get afraid? Or do you want to tell me that you know all these things? Well you may know all these. In that case just take it as reminder. Exercise is the most important aspect of the retirement stage. Find out a type of exercise you really enjoy. Brisk walking particularly for the Indian Americans is most practical. I have seen some retirees walking within the Great Mall in Milpitas in winter and rainy season. U.S.
Government’s recommendation is one must have at least 30 minutes of daily aerobic exercise to keep up muscle strength. Exercise is good for avoiding depression. For seniors, to maintain continuity is not easy. There has to be a commitment. Then you have Yoga class here every Friday. This will also help maintain stress. Avoid sedentary life style like lying or sitting in Sofa and reading or watching T.V. for longer times. Oh what a long list!
O.K. I now come to the next important aspect that affects all of us-family ties. As one grows old, there is need to be part of loving and supportive family. Hence there is need to nurture good family relationship and to repair broken ones. The family is more than an economic unit. It is instrument to give and receive love. If one wants to enjoy the retirement, it is essential to have good relationship with parents, spouse, children and grand children. Any family would be far from perfect. Some manage well, some poorly and some cannot at all. The reason is simple. No person is ideal. The same is the case with any family. If a family can’t function well for any reason whatsoever, the result is all the members suffer and the older ones are likely to suffer more because of loss of affection and
interaction. They are the ones who require help and care as they grow
older.
2)Retirement
============
In my last article I had stressed the importance of maintaining health
in post retirement stage. I had also spoken the need to have good
relations in family and with friends. Another suggestion was to if relations are
strained, the same may be repaired. Today I would talk on family
functioning. No family is perfect and no individual (except Lord
Krishna) has been perfect. Some in family assume more responsibilities, while
some do not. Behavior of different individuals in the family may not be to the
liking of each other. In short members in the family may not be on same
wave length with respect to the various issues including day today issues.
There may be lack of communications among the members. This creates stress in
relationship and sometimes conflicts. The question is how to remove differences and if not removed, how to keep them in manageable level. Frankly there is no one single medicine for it. It depends on many factors and different situations prevailing. We have to understand the basic reasons. One reason is that the retiree was Head of the household capable of taking independent decisions and others followed his dictates. The situation suddenly changes when he turns dependent on his sons and daughters. The roles are reversed. The adjustment to the changed situation is not
easy.
The question is what is the best course of action for the seniors? I
would say that the senior can be helpful as much as possible to the family.
Spend time with family, especially with grand children. Remember you are no
longer leader in the family. The differences in the family can be attributed
only in some degree to generation gap. There may be other reasons too
including environment in the US and the busy schedule of the young who can’t pay
more attention to other family members. One way is to develop humor about
differences in lifestyles. Also withdraw yourself. Develop detachment
preached in Bhagwat Gita. In fact keep Bhagwat Gita with you and read
and re-read on “niskam karma” developing detachment. Always try to keep
the goal of “ Sthitadpardnaya”. Goal is almost impossible. Keep working
towards this goal.
This does not mean that you be silent spectator to what is going on.
Don’t give up on what I call substance abuse. Speak about it. In extreme case
get help. I now turn to relationship with spouse.
Young couple immediately after marriage is in a very romantic mood that last for few years. The man thinks that his wife is angle. The women views
husband God like. As the years wear out, each one notices shortcoming in the others. The wave length does no longer remain one but there are two wave lengths parallel to each other, sometimes coming to close to each other virtually looking as one and again drifting. So long as they are close to each other, running in same directions, there is harmonious blending, with only occasional shouting. As far as seniors are concerned, there to my mind does not arise question of divorce. Better course would be to ignore
minor differences, speak less, avoid topics which cause serious differences
in opinion, be generous to the extent possible. Watch word should be “sacrifices”. If possible meet some unreasonable demands. Speak about the differences in frank and cool atmosphere. Try to give emotional security. See that each spouse has financial security.
Speaking of financial security, it is advisable to have a place to stay and reasonable income generating safe investment back in the home country.
Better have faith in relatives. But don’t have too much of blind faith. Always see that you are secure finanicially.
As regards investments, I would suggest that have conservative investments. Avoid major portion in stock market or risky ventures when you are too
old to do things.
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3)HOW TO LIVE A HAPPY AND DIGNIFIED LIFE
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LIFE IS COMPLEX:
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Happiness and sorrow are part of life and they overlap. It is a complex phenomenon. The word “happiness defies definition. Some may relate it to fun; cheerfulness, good luck or some may equate happiness with success. But success can’t be ensured in each undertaking. US Supreme Court Justice when dealing with issue of obscenity had remarked “ I can’t define it, but I know what is obscenity when I see it. In case of happiness
even this is not possible.
Happiness is a state of mind. It also depends on the mental make of the person. It also depends upon the surrounding situation relating to the person and how he reacts to it and the events.
The question arises why are people in general are not happy? Is it the insatiability of human nature or is it because of the law of diminishing returns? Ford, the richest man in the world at one time was asked how much money he wants to make further. His reply was “little more”. Is it true of happiness too? Is the habit of man comparing himself with others a cause of unhappiness? Is it that like “perfection”, happiness is illusory?
Fun is a temporary phenomenon. Happiness is an on going process. Now
the fact is all wish happiness twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.
Happiness is not a commodity that one can go the market and buy it.
Every thing that leads to achievement, success involves pain. Sportsman like
Magic Johnson (basket ball), Sachin Tendulkar, Kapil Dev (Cricketers), Pele
(Soccer) achieved greatness by hard work, practice, concentration and
much more. As per one study, bachelors make more fun, but married are
happier than bachelors. Again some in advanced countries choose not to have
children. But then those with children are found happier. In general
expectations from relatives friends and other persons when not fulfilled
lead to unhappiness.
Some points keep self happy could be:
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1. Have POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE of mind: Have conviction that you can
direct and control your emotions, moods, feeling, attitudes, passions
and also habits.
2.Avoid NEGATiVE thoughts, rather banish them from your mind.
3.Do to others as you would have done to you. Devote your thoughts
and activities towards MAKING OTHERS HAPPY in little things daily. To bring
happiness to others, will return happiness manifold to you.
4.ACCEPT PEOPLE as they are. Don’t expect/demand that they should be
like you. Everybody has something good in him. Tolerance, love and affection
on the other hand will build up your Positive Mental Attitude. Try to do a
small good deed a day. At least don’t hurt anybody. You don’t have to spend
anything for showing a common courtesy.
5.WE BECOME WHAT WE THINK about most of the time.
6.POWER OF PRAYER whether it is God, Universe or some unseen divine power is a great in healing your mind. When you pray, you do it with belief
and faith and that restores your confidence.
7.SET GOALS plan and execute them. A long journey begins only with first single step.Persons are born with certain personality traits. Whether this is fully genetic or partially formed while in uterus, or unique for any other reason is subject of separate study. Important point is some are born predisposed towards happiness and some towards unhappiness. Not all are chronically born unhappy. Many of these become unhappy at some stage in life.
SIMPLICITY IN LIFE:
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Another key to happiness is to simply life.
CLEAN UP YOUR HOME:
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We should live in good surrounding. In home we should
make efforts to get rid of junk and items no longer required. We
collect host of items such as utensils, furniture, books, decorative pieces,
clothing and what not. There will be items that we have not even
touched for years. We get rid of them by donating the same to needy persons or
institutions. I am convinced in the concept “less is more”. I came
across a research study where it was found that people with house full of goods
clustering around tend to eat more and put on weight causing health
problem.
Then once you have tidied and organized the house, you will not be tempted to buy things and order cupboards and closest to keep them or stuff things in boxes. I am surprised to see many people in USA stuffing junk of few hundred dollars in garage and parking their cars in costing thousands
of dollars in the driveway or on road!
FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT:
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The most important thing for the senior people is to lead life with dignity, pride and honor. Freedom from money anxiety is a requirement of a happy life. People who are afraid of failure or think of failure are more likely to fail. The key to happiness is the ability to enjoy what one has even if it does not look much to an outsider. Better not say I don’t want more money or I don’t care for money. That way you block your vision in relation to wealth and money. Say I will work hard and
be successful and if it does not work I am OK with what I have or what I
get.
Money, in old times and also now, is a reality and a necessity and people know the advantages of money and richness. Financial independence is directly related to money with you and your needs. If you have money for income flow for your basic needs of food, shelter and accommodation, money does not remain an issue in your life. For senior people in retirement it is difficult to increase income. If income is short, one will have to reduce needs. Don’t compare your richness or poverty with those of others. If you are envious of others having more money and wealth than you, it will bring unhappiness to you. If you have excess money, donate some to good
cause. If you are fortunate to get some inheritance, treat it as a gift. In case
of dispute in the family, amicable settlement even at the cost of parting
more in favor of other family members will bring peace of mind and mental satisfaction. The most important thing is money can’t buy most important things in life and that is partner and family members. Therefore we
have to commit ourselves to people and not money. Always be fair with your
financial dealing with people.
HEALTH:
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Try to maintain good health. Good exercise, good diet and happy outlook in life will keep you healthy and away from illness and medicine. Have brisk walk for half an hour or go to Gym, do yoga, go for swimming or play game that will burn your calories. Have seven hours or eight hours of good sleep. EAT good quality food for your body and mind. Get rid of that extra pound by exercise by intelligently selecting food. Avoid saturated fats, fried food, sodas and eating fast food. In USA one gets olive oil or corn oil that contain less saturated fats Use protein food with high carbohydrates. Eat more vegetables and fruits for fibers. Eat in small
quantity nuts, almonds. Doctors recommend eating fruits vegetables rather than juices. Drink tea for longevity of life. I came across an article which gives formula Olive oil + red wine (only one glass) is = to long life. The body once adjusted to less food can cope with extra calories once a fortnight/month when invited for buffet lunch or dinner a banquet!
TIME MANAGEMENT:
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The young working generation here do fix up priorities
and accomplish the tasks. They don’t allow trivial matters come into their
priorities and time management. They concentrate on one thing at a time
and avoid superfluous activities.Some senior people have no time, while some get bored. Now some tasks may be too big and some may be unimportant. My suggestion to seniors here is don’t try to be perfectionist. Life has its flaws. Allow some latitude towards a happy and relaxed imperfection. Time management need not allow tension on this account. However some errors that are danger to your life may be
avoided. The best examples are crossing road, use of medicine, driving.
All mistakes of past should be treated as learning experience. In USA there
are lots of facilities available for learning. Good Libraries are located
in all cities. Use them. Do some good reading or learning something of
interest. Keep your brain activity. In short keep yourself engaged. Lastly avoid
working or keeping company with unhappy people! If in the purse there
is enough saving, go on tours with group or family for change and recreation. Keep smiling. In the second and final article I will deal with “Personal relations with family members and others, increasing life expectancy and medical power of attorney (living will).
“Sarve Sukhinah Santu” (Wishing all be happy)..
4)HOW TO LIVE A HAPPY AND DIGNIFIED LIFE
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PERSONAL RELATIONS:
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Everyone’s life is interconnected with hundreds of lives. Life without relationship is poor. Life without your family, relatives and friends would create a void. We have to maintain and deepen such relationship with mutual give and take. Networking whether in business or relationship is a must for enjoyment, success and joy. How this relationship is to be developed is for individual to decide. One thing
to remember is never to offend guests and hosts. If you don’t meet friends
for long, make phone call and try to remain connected.
RELATIONSHIP WITH FAMILY MEMBERS:
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This is very difficult, complicated but most important relationship in one’s life. There are issues like love, dependency, friendship, and guilt, anger in relationship with parents, spouse and children. There will be number of feelings which will be in
conflict with each other. In relationship with parents or children, there is a generation gap. Parents brought you into this world. Have understanding with them and listen and respect them. Relationship with mother is special. Lord Krishna said every mother is good. This is because mother loves her children irrespective of how children treat her. Don’t say things that may cause wounds that never heal. If you do so, it may bring you repentance.
RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN MEN & WOMEN:
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It is accepted that the relationship between opposite sexes is incomparable source of happiness. It could turn into obstacle. Men & women are different from each other. The difference could bring both conflict and comfort. Getting along is itself a learning process and if done is a great achievement. A survey showed that good
sex life is necessary for a good and happy marriage. Why are there failure
or unhappiness in some cases? The study showed that the reason is insatiability. Survey in western region showed that men hanker for variety while for women it is emotional intimacy. Men should realize the distinct difference in them and the limitation to the satiability of their urges. omen on the other hand should appreciate that they can never satisfy her emotional nature. Even with a very loving husband who is intimate and communicates well, she will have frustration. She will desire to have more love, time and intimacy of her children, her parents and her
grandchildren.
RELATIONSHIP WITH SPOUSE:
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The twentieth century has witnessed tremendous spread of education of women in every faculty and they are competing with men in jobs with equal success. Women in general have achieved economic independence. This has led to more expectations between husband and wife. The reasons are increased pressures on each while pursuing success in profession, economic independence, urge to have happy sex life, efforts
to mould children so that they achieve success in educations, sports and other arts as never before. This has caused some strain in relationship. We senior citizens had lived in extended families where some others used to take care of some of the issues. Today small family is expected to cope with demands of the modern day world. This situation is a good breeding ground to generate into friction and unhappy atmosphere. Now there is a need for dialogue. No two persons are the same or on the same wavelength all the times and through out the married life. Basically the couple’s temperament, outlook to various issues, ideas, priorities, food habits, pattern of approach to home, its decoration, interaction with relatives of the
couple and of the friends are some of the important matters where there could
be small to serious differences. In short there are two realities, one of
husband and the other of wife.
Here again I am reminded of the famous detective novel writer Earl
Stanley Gardner writing under pen name Parry Mason. In one of his novels he
makes observation about couple on the lines below. Immediately after the
marriage the wife thinks that the husband is God and the husband thinks that the
wife is an angel. As the years pass they start noticing the shortcoming in
each other. There has to be a good dialogue to iron out the differences.
Each one must give some space to other and ignore minor irritants. This does not
happen in every case and the result could be unhappy.
The fact is you both know each other much less than you thought. An
honest dialogue will put to end the secret conviction nurtured by each that he or she alone is better the two. In ultimate analysis you can’t change other. Each has to change without expectation from the other. Make your dreams a joint exercise. Dialogue may not work initially, but then next one will get better than earlier. Improved communications will enhance one’s married life. May be after many years in marriage, every man or woman wants to be conquered time and again!
EXPECTANCY OF LIFE is increasing with better health knowledge,
exercise diet control and medical advance. Plan with your partner how are you to
lead it. Plan what hobby you would like to pursue, what places you want to go, how would you like to be active physically and mentally. The key to happiness is positive mental attitude, increasing level of tolerance and simplifying life. With this all will reach the mission of life
(“Manzile”).
Enjoy life. I wish you happiness.
AFTER DEATH:
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In USA it is desirable to prepare what is called living
will also called as directive or medical power of attorney. This document
specifies the medical treatment or health care you want to receive in
care you are in state of health where the person can’t communicate. It is a
directive to your Doctor to guide the doctor and the family members
whether they should delay your death. In USA it is always advisable for young
working people and also seniors with property to prepare WILL or a revocable trust. Those seniors who have migrated to this country after retirement
in India and have left properties and assets in India, it is better to take certain steps as also to have a “WILL”.
LIVE WITH DIGNITY:
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Don’t belittle yourself or other person. If some person
envies you and says something sarcastic or makes comments that are not
in good taste, say without anger that it is your choice and that you have
made decisions as he himself. Anger is a chemistry that prevents building up
and development of networking between friends, acquaintances, colleagues
and relatives. Some people are more prone to criticize others or to find
fault with them. The only solution to happier and relaxed life is to come of
clean out of this negative tendency to form judgments and prejudices, as
otherwise it takes your control and disturbs your perceptions. To simply your
life concern yourself with your life. When you constantly think about the
solutions to other people’s problems, you are burdening yourself with
stress. Every person has ability inherent in him for a relaxed and happy life. But these abilities never show up due to certain convictions and rigid ideas formed. To open the positive aspects of one’s personality try to step in the shoes of others to see from their point of view. If you say something without annoyance, without pressure or a sarcastic message, the other person’s response may be different. This principle stands good in relation to parents, as also children. Let us join in the prayer of Sant Dyaneshwar, a Marathi saint voiced in prayer to Lord of Universe in his “Pasayadan” to grant mankind “Je Je
wamchil te te saho pranijat” that is “Let all the living beings get
what is desired by them” and again “Kimbahuna sarva sukhi hovuni tinhi loki”
that let mankind be “all happy” in all the three places in the universe
(earth, heaven and hell)”. Best wishes to the reader for fulfilling his/her
life’s “Manzile” (mission).
(writer is lawywer by profession. He is also deep thinker.)
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Menopause
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By Dr. Devaki Srinivasan
(This is a informative article related to Women problems at certain Age)
What is Menopause: Stoppage of Menstruation
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As age advances, the function of ovaries decrease. Two main functions (1) production of ovum (egg) for procreation (2) secretion of ovarian hormones – which maintain the menstrual and reproductive function.

I. Ovum production stops few years before menopause giving rise to a condition called Anovular Menstruation which is characterized by irregular and heavy menstrual bleeding – commonly noted before menopause. Sometimes may end up in Hysterectomy.
II. Stoppage of ovarian hormones – two types of harmones – harmone progesterone secretion stopped few years before menopause giving rise to anovular menstruation. When the other harmone estrogen is not secreted by the atrophic ovary menopause sets in.

When does menopause occur? When menstruation is stopped for 1 year. It occurs usually around the age of 52. Range is 45 to 55 years. Sometimes menstruation stops for 6 months and again starts having bleeding albeit small quantity and infrequent intervals once in 4 to 6 months. Then we have to calculate onset of menopause one year after the last menstruation. Very rarely pregnancy can occur during this period due to occasional ovum production called “Flash in the frying pan”.

In contrast to Natural Menopause, surgical menopause occurs when Hysterectomy with removal of ovaries when the symptoms appears suddenly requiring Harmone replacement therapy.

Third condition called Premature Menopause occurs when ovaries fails to function early i.e. 3rd decade or early 4th decade.

How does my body change? Because of aging and menopause, whole body shows changes. The very first symptom may be shown as hot flashes and night sweating. Episodes of sporadic flushing with sensation of heat that may or may not be associated with sweating – associated with palpitation and chills.

Night sweat are sleep thieves. Vary in intensity from woman to woman. At times keeps awake throughout the night. Changes noted almost all the systems of the body.
I.Brain-Mood and memory changes;irritability,depression and anxiety.
Emotional changes will be noted as the following symptoms:
1.Less motivated and less confident because you feel you have lost your energy due to stoppage of reproductive function.
2. More easily picking up quarrel with family members more often.
3. More anxious and irritable.
4. More aggressive and hostile –common cause of fights between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
5. Mood swings more common.
6. Feeling of apprehension and sense of insecurity.
7. Forgetfulness and lack of coordination.
8. More fatigued.

With the above symptoms we need not get upset-there are remedies like self help techniques; lifestyle choices; natural therapies and anti-depressants. We can pursue our hobbies for which we had no time earlier. We can join clubs meet more people and join more social gathering –like picnics, pilgrimages, spend time on discourses and meditation. Nutritional changes also help to some extent. Finally try HRT and other alternative therapies.

II . Physical changes:
1. More wrinkles and lines around mouth and eyes.
2. Skin has more spots and pimples.
3. Skin over arms and legs less toned and wrinkled.
4. Hair more brittle and lackluster and falling of hair.
5. Nails tend to split and crack.
6. Teeth more sensitive and brittle will crack easily due to enamel wear.
7. May develop facial hair.
8. Eyes feel more gritty and dry.

The above symptoms can be relieved to some extent by medicines-HRT and nature therapy. Exercises and special massages for toning muscles. Nutritional changes also help to some extent.

3. Sexual function -I don’t want to go into details about this condition as it varies from woman to woman. Usually less responsiveness to sexual acts and also feel less attraction to the partner. Physical, psychological and emotional reasons for this condition.

4. Cardio vascular system the protection given by ovarian hormones in prevention of heart attack during reproductive period is lost in Menopause and they are susceptible to hear problems equivalent to men after menopause.

Proper nutrition, regular exercise minimum of 20 mts – three times a week, maintaining healthy weight along with HRT and other medicines help to get over this problem.

5. Lungs – More chance of developing asthma and COPD. Can be controlled to some extent by PACED respiration – pranayam, healthy diet and weight.

6. Digestive system – lowered intestinal mobility leading to constipation and bloating. Proper diet, more fiber food, less spicy and oily food, more liquids and regular timing can help.

7. Bones and Joints – Important changes seen as osteoporisis – when bone mass reduces and density decreases due to changed calcium metabolism caused by hormonal changes. It is mostly seen in big bones such as hip, spine and wrist. Fractures occur more commonly with less than normal injury. Gait and posture affected. Radiating pain along the hands and giddiness due neck bone problems called cervical spondylosis. Consult the orthopedician – proper diet maintaining regular weight and exercises avoiding strenuous work along with special medical treatment such as calcium tablets, calcitonin, bisphosphonates and also HRT.

8. Genito –Urinary system is one of the main system affected. Vagina shrinks ,its walls become thinner and drier. Bladder wall thins and sphincter control is weakened. Supporting muscles to the bladder, rectum and uterus get weakened leading to prolapse of these organs.

Vaginal symptoms include a) dryness b) itching c) burning d) irritation e) sexual discomfort.

Physical, psychological and emotional reasons cause the above symptoms. Following points to be remembered a) never use vaginal douche as it encourages infection b) wash the genital from front to back to avoid spreading bacteria from anal area c) avoid using soap or gel to wash the bottom d) use mild detergents to wash undergarments e) use loose fitting clothes made from natural fibers f) when indicated use of local estrogen therapy advised.

Urinary symptoms 1) Urinary tract infection 2) stress incontinence 3) urge incontinence.

Points to observe to prevent infection a) urinate after intercourse (b) when ever there is urge to urinate c) wear underwear of natural fibers to reduce moisture retention d) avoid tight jeans and other pants e) stop using douches, hot tubs or chlorinated pools f) don’t use perfumed toilet paper g) drink cranberry juice to maintain urinary pH. h) don’t use tampons or diaphragm i) eat yogurt frequently

Apart from urinary infection, stress incontinence and urge incontinence and prolapse of uterus, bladder and rectum can be controlled to some extent by pelvic floor exercises. In severe cases surgical treatment is needed. Vaginal cones, local hormone therapy is also useful.

Prevention and treatment consists of 1) exercise 2) maintain healthy weight 3) follow healthy diet 4) avoid excessive amount of caffeine.

Prescription medicines consisting of HRT – two types of hormone therapy a) estrogen alone (premarin) b) estrogen and progesterone for women with uterus (prempro).

Osteoperosis drugs – 1) Bisphosphonates s 2) Calcitonin 3) Calcium tablets

Annual pap smear and mammograms.

In spite of physical, psychological and emotional changes the benefits of menopause are 1) not to worry about menses and changing sanitary pads 2) fear of unwanted pregnancy 3) more time to spend with friends and relatives 4) more time to spend doing hobbies like knitting, sewing and art classes.
(Writer is a Doctor Specialized with women related problems)
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The significance of Republic Day of India

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(i.e. 26th January)
By R B Singh
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India got independence on August 15th 1947. At that time it had dominion status. Later on January 26Th 1950 it became a Republic.

The constituent assembly was constituted in 1946. It continued its deliberations and completed its task by the end of 1949 when the constitution of India was finally adopted and made effective from January 26th 1950. India's first president Dr Rajendra Prasad, who earlier was president of the constituent assembly, took charge on January 26th, 1950 from the last Governor General, Shri C Rajagopalachari who had become Governor General of India in June, 1948 when Lord Louis Mount Battan, the 1st Governor General of free India.

What was the significance of choosing January 26 for Prmulgation of the Republic on this day?

At the Lahore session of Indian national congress Jawaherlal became its President for the first time. He became congress president four times. He took over from his father Moti Lal Nehru. At that time, Jawaherlal Nehru unfurled the flag on the banks of river Ravi on January 26 1929. It was declared then that from now on the goal of Indian people would be for attaining 'Puran Sawraj'.

From that time onwards January 26th had become a historic day in the freedom struggle of India. it used to be celebrated, every year, as Independence day.

when i was a student at the Sikh national college, Lahore,(1943-45) we used to celebrate January 26 as independence day. there used to be unfurling of new flag by principal of the college, Niranjan Singh, a small talk by him and singing of 'Vande Matram' and 'Jan Gana Man'. college used to be closed that day.

That is why January 26 was chosen to be proper day for promulgation of the Republic of India.

(writer is a thinker and Historian.)

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My memories of freedom struggle
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By Manilal Jagtap
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The congress party was dominating during the freedom struggle. It had many good honest and sincere leaders.They had lot of consultation how to continue the freedom struggle? Besides that they use to have a frequent conferences to review and make further suggestions regarding future line of actions. The minimum program for common man was also use to be issues in those conferences.

The fiazpur congress was held in the year 1936 at a small village faizpur,Jalgona District, formerly known as a East Khandesh of Bombay state then and now the part of Maharashtra state.

The above session was very important for me as my father and the nearest relatives were involved in organizing the same. It was very important even from Indian point of view. It was a historical landmark for each and every khandeshi and they were proud of it. Besides that it will be cherished through out their life and time to come.

I am proud that my father and his uncle Daulat Seth who had made lot of efforts for organizing or holding the said congress meeting. They were not so big as congress leaders but their efforts were appreciable. Daulat Seth was from one of the richest families of that time. He treated his nephew as his own and taught him all lessons of every walk of life. He also tought that money should not be the only goal of life. He believed that love for the country and its freedom are also important. He had very high respect for our country and was ready to give any sacrifice for it. He helped poor people which had also inspired my father. He believed that to get the freedom the sacrifice have to be made by some people and if so than why not to start with our own self. It may also give inspiration to others to join in the freedom movements without any expectations.

Thereafter many joined in the freedom movements who known to my father and Daulat Seth. DhanjiNana Chaudhri was one of them, who had retired then from the police department. He worked sincerely for the people at local level and his services were also recognized by leadership. Besides that his son Madhukarrao Chaudhrui subsequently became minister in the Maharashtra government.

Devakinandan, Nazayan, Bhagwan Soma, Namichand Jangeda, Sane Guruji were the leading leaders then. Each one of them had contributed in different fields and in politics.

Dhanji Nana, My father and Daulat Seth along with other local leaders decided to make request to the national leaders to hold annual session of congress at Faizpur. The honest hard work and collective efforts brought positive results. The Session was hold at faizpure and all national leaders like Jawaherlal Nehru, Vallabhbhai Patel, Morarjibhai Desai, Dr Radhakrishnan, Maulana Azad, along with other leaders attended the session. The father of the nation Mahatma Gandhi was a chief attraction.

The conference was the reflection of whole nation then. The people assured all leaders that they shall observe satya graha and Non violence in their struggle. In short whole country was behind the leadership. Besides that many resolutions were passed with firm goal of freedom for the country. The people's morale was very high.

Maulana Azad and Jawaherlal nehru gave more importance to education and suggested to improve school education and also emphasis on adult education. The proclamation of improving the education received tremendous response in the Jalgoan District then. The result of which many private high schools were opened along with colleges. It enlightened people and subsequently district prospered very well. Besides that it was also discussed regarding how to further develop art ,culture and condition of poor people of India. Morarji desai also supported and suggested economic measures to improve the economical conditions of people.

Faizpur is located near Satpura mountains ranges and very near to the wold famous Ellora and Ajanta caves. Sarvapalli Radhakrishna, a philosopher, and thinker also made passing references regarding Ajanta and Ellora. He said that" The art of kailas temple at Ellora and the art at Ajanta are the requisite specimen of Indian art of the Brahmanical period and of Buddha period standing through the centuries,paying homage to givers of genius. The art is the glaring glory of our mother India." He appealed that 'when our forefather could built such a peaceful houses,then why we cannot built the shanti temple of freedom for all of us, and show the rest of the world, the way to achieve it. So let us fight with peace and non-violence"

Sane guruji, Vinoba Bhave had also played vital role in freedom struggle latter on. Sane guruji has made considerable and marking contribution in the literature. Vinoba Bhave also started famous 'Bhoodan movement' successfully. The faizpure congress became the instrument for changing the life of many leaders and they contributed physically, and materially for the people and the country. It also deeply rooted the spirit of patriotism among the people.

My father and uncle Daulat Shet, had also helped to open Mulji Jetha College at Jalgoan. They had also done lot of public work for the people. I am proud of my father who is remembered to-day even for his good work. He is also remembered for the efforts he had made during the faizpur session of the congress. I believe all good things you find in me is a gift from my elders.
(writer is a poet and Musician)

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